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The TCFB Stat Man got rip-raving pissed yesterday that I used my own stat in the "Numbers Don't Lie" segment and that Butch Stearns' people got their hands on it and are going public with the Bay/McDonald comparison live on the air at the Pulse Network.

Needless to say, the Stat Man felt compelled to prove his worth in another area and threw aside the scantily clad females on the island he's vacationing and sent in this tremendous guest post on why he feels the Red Sox are still very much alive in this 2010 race. Even though I'm in the camp of "wait til next year" at this point, Stat Man presents his case nicely, & quite honestly, I hope he's right. Check it out below...


Kevin Youkilis,2010 Red Sox


TCFB Stat Man's Case For The 2010 Red Sox

The popular term for saying your team is still in it when things are down is being a Kool-Aid drinker. Regarding the Red Sox, I am the former, but I’ll never be the latter. I’m a realist – it’s just not everyone can see what’s in front of the eyes (little known fact, but it was actually 'Flavor-Aid' in Jonestown, fyi...) I'm not following Sox marketing, I'm following logic, nobody has 5 strong (understatement) pitchers right now. Sox do. Nobody has fresh rested All-Stars coming off DL rested. Sox do. And, indisputably, nobody has as deep an in-game battle-tested, bench as the Red Sox.

Granted the Sox need mid-relief help only a slightly less than any swimmer in Chatham playing with seals needs a chain-mail swimsuit, but in reality, the Flavor-Aiders may very well be those not willing to stay on board the Red Sox train. It’s like local sports-people are deathly afraid of being called ‘homers’; though, since sports-talk radio is designed to get listener responses, I’m not sure how it is that this will-win forest is being missed for the Sox-can’t-do-it trees.

What team is more likely to win the Wild Card really? The no-name Red Sox (excluding Ortiz) caught the Rays & surpassed by two games when Boston was 8 games back (a 10 game turnaround). Of course, the Sox lost ground after auditioning for MASH II/Injury Boogaloo – Scenes from Boston. But, guess what? I guarantee you most of MLB expected (and hoped) they’d lose a lot more.

The Red Sox, with their rag-tag lineup card, have lost fewer games in the standings to the Rays than TB did to the Sox. The PawSox kept the Red Sox alive by populating virtually every position. Except First base (and maybe including, but I’m not looking it up), every spot on the Red Sox has been played by an Interstate 95 frequent driver this year.

It’s almost stylish to say the Sox can’t do it. That statement is made all the easier by not having high-profile, flashy big number players on this team.

***Take your Longoria, because this year, statistically, Beltre is even with him. A-Rod is not even close.

***Lowrie is now doing an admirable job filling in for Pedroia – then we have a well-rested Pedroia.

***Youk is the best 1B in the AL, bar none.

***Scutaro has been solid all year and his bat has won games.

***Victor Martinez has the most pop in his bat of any catcher and his D has noticeably improved.

***Ellsbury is coming back, but the Sox came back without him before, so that should be an extra plus. I expect a week of, ‘get the new Ellsbury-logoed skirt’ for about a week, then it’ll be an afterthought.

***Right this moment, the Sox have the best 1-4 pitchers in the game, with even dice-K stepping way up these days. I’d take our #4 over 95% of the other league’s #1. Likely more than that.

***Bard is lights out.

***Say what you want about ERA, but Paps has only three blown saves.

If Yawkey Way can get mid-relief or if internally a mid-reliever comes around, there’s not a team that can beat the Red Sox.

Stat Man
~TCFB~

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TCFB,Numbers Don't Lie


Interesting tid-bit of info below. This isn't from the TCFB Statman, it's from yours truly. The Statman is on vacation this week. He took his TCFB royalties and hit up some remote island with scantily clad females. Good gig if you can get it.

Who would've believed this at the beginning of the 2010 MLB season? See below.....

Jason Bay ( OF-New York Mets)----- .259/ 6 HR/ .402 SLG% in 348 AB

Darnell "Who?" McDonald (OF-Boston Red Sox)----- .263/ 6 HR/ .401 SLG% in 217 AB


I guess you knew something we didn't, once again, eh Brookline Theo? One of these guys makes about $15 mil a year, while the other makes $7 an hour plus tips.

Let me be clear, the stat is cool and all, but I'm not stupid. Bay is a far superior ballplayer than McDonald, even though I'm not on board with paying him the dough he got from NY. Just having a little fun with the numbers, my friends.

Carry on.

Chuck
~TCFB~

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Dez Bryant


"I'm not doing it," Bryant said. "I feel like I was drafted to play football, not carry another player's pads. I just feel like I'm here to play football. I'm here to try to help win a championship, not carry another man's pads. I'm not saying that out of disrespect." (Fanhouse )

In February, shoe and apparel company Under Armour signed a yet undrafted Dez Bryant to an endorsement deal.

But less than a month after Bryant was drafted 24th overall by the Dallas Cowboys, Bryant showed up to organized team activities wearing Nike shoes and Nike gloves and apparently has been wearing that brand ever since.

On Monday, an Under Armour official told CNBC that the short-lived relationship was already over.

Nike spokesman Kejuan Wilkins said Bryant is not on the company’s list of current NFL endorsers.
(Sports Biz )


Dez, my man, listen up…

First off, let’s hit on the whole, refusing to carry the veteran’s pads, in what is part of a little rookie hazing fun.

Stop acting like the Cowboys are hazing you like the 1970’s Bruins used to when they strapped said player to a gurney in the locker room and shaved said players testicles, while most likely half in the bag after about 6 Budweiser’s, postgame. Can you imagine Derek fucking Sanderson with hedge clippers in his hands after performing keg stands in the shower?

They asked you to carry some effin pads, son. Do it. It’s part of the game and rookie initiation, you overgrown toolbox. Lighten up.

Secondly, it’s pretty clear ole Dez isn’t playing with what we call “a full deck of cards” up in the ole cranium, eh? You sign an endorsement deal with Under Armour, then you just decide to show up to rookie camp wearing Nike apparel? Then, it comes out that he doesn’t even have a deal with Nike. What gives, D-Bry?

Why do I get the feeling, this isn’t exactly the last we’re going to hear out of Dezzie, off the field? I wish HBO’s Hard Knocks was back in Big D this summer. Could’ve seen J-Jones’ plastic face melt in the hot summer heat and had a couple hundred laughs with Dezzie’s antics.


Chuck
~TCFB~
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Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Wednesday = Hump Day = TCFB Femme Fatale Day = Stacey Dash

H.H.D. (Head Horn Dog), beware. Smitty texted me last night and told me he wants in on selecting some of these candidates on future Wednesday's. Worst thing I ever did was teach that old fossil how to text. That aside, watch your ass. That old wrinkly bastard has a keen eye for sexiness. He told me to tell you that you don't have shit on him when it comes to being an ass scout and that he'd like to be known as H.H.D.D. (Head Horn Dog's Daddy). I told him to relax and remember he's nothing more than an ex-camera guy from the "on hiatus" Emmy Award winning, TCFB Show.

Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Stacey Dash,TCFB Femme Fatale


Chuck
~TCFB~
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Rony Seikaly,Miami Heat
Rony Seikaly


(From Deadspin … Rony Seikaly---back in the day---telling spewing a little wisdom to John Salley about his days with the Pistons and going deep in the playoffs every year.)

Seikaly: "But you only get paid from November to April. That's taking too much of the summer, man. This is ridiculous."
Salley: "Well, playing for a championship is about pride. It's not about money."
Seikaly: "It has to be, because this is some bullshit. You guys play an extra two months."

[Salley: And I was like, holy shit. I didn't even realize it. I was playing an extra two-and-a-half months, for free.]


Shit, there’s a man I want to go to battle with right there!

Rony Seikaly!


I mean, the pride, selflessness, & risking of individual success for the greater good, just jumps off the page.

God bless this smooth operator, aka “The Lebanese Lover.” Screw playing past the regular season for no extra benjamins. You know there’s nowhere he’d rather be then down on South Beach, oiled up and in a Speedo, asking every femme fatale walking by if they know who he is and if they don’t would they like to get to know him. Sort of like Derek Lowe (minus the Speedo, most of the time) when he used to frequent The Stadium in Southie, throw back about 15 beers in an hour, and hit on every female with a pulse. Who can blame him?

NBA Playoffs? NBA Championships? Playing for free?

No thanks.

“I won my FIBA World Championship for Spain in 1986, bitches. That’s good enough for me. You don’t meet high quality road beef like Elsa Benitez and then marry her sexy ass when you’re bangin’ on behemoths like Shaq in the low post in June. Get a clue. While you were bangin’ some nasty sweaty road beef named Shaquille, I was making sweet love to a fine Mexican supermodel named Elsa. I win. You don’t. Simple.”


Chuck
~TCFB~
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Martellus Bennett


(From ESPN )

"These pictures were taken four years ago and placed on the Internet recently without my knowledge or consent," Bennett said in a statement released by the Cowboys on Monday. "I understand that they are totally inappropriate. And for that I am sorry. I regret the embarrassment that it has caused the organization."

"We discussed this matter today with Martellus and will address it further on an internal basis," Cowboys vice president of communications Rich Dalrymple said.



I mean, in this effed up world we live in now, I wish I could say I'm surprised when another snappin' of the schlong in a mirror occurs with an athlete. Not surprising. I've written on this topic before on TCFB back when I was a little more naive to this now "all the rage" act of disgustingness. So no, this isn't about me being taken aback that it's happened again. This is about something else.

How do you think the Cowboys VP of Communications, Dick Dalrymple, "communicates" his displeasure with young Martellus?

I mean, I once had to tell a guy who worked for me that he smelled and needed to switch up the deodorant (or start actually using it), but this was after the guy who ran the department before me had already had the displeasure of breaking the ice with him on this subject matter, so it made it slightly easier on me. [Hey, if you're reading this, what's up big guy? Hope all is well.]

That said, imagine actually having to talk to a guy about cutting back on taking pictures of his dick and sending them to his flavor of the week because you can't have pictures of that nature showing up on the world wide web?

Tough task for sure. I hope it went ok, Dickie-D.


Chuck
~TCFB~
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TCFB Asshat of the Week


(From The Weekly Vice)

Rock Hill, South Carolina (The Weekly Vice) - Marquevious Jabar Bell, a 20-year-old Rock Hill man, was jailed Wednesday after he allegedly beat his wife while she was in the hospital, delivering their child.

Investigators say the couple got into an argument, which led to Bell slapping his girlfriend across the face with an open hand, then hitting her several more times.


Let this serve as a PSA for Wifey TCFB as we (she) heads into labor within the next two weeks or so with our baby daughter.

Do not screw with me when we get to the hospital and make me slap your silly ass around in front of everyone when we arrive. I've been under a lot of stress with this pregnancy and I will be like a 195 pound fish out of water once you are in labor.

Yes, I realize you are carrying the already 7 pound watermelon ---who doubles as my little princess---around and you are extremely uncomfortable at this point of the pregnancy. But, as always, my stress level and well being comes first.

Don't push me!

Ok, all bullshit aside, congratulations are in order for my friend, Marquevious Jabar Bell. It takes one hell of an asshat to bitch slap your wife around when she is heading in to deliver your child.

Quality human being.

Marquevious Jabar Bell = TCFB Asshat of the Week.

Good Day.


Chuck
~TCFB~
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TCFB Sox By Numbers


July 21, 2010

Red Sox @ A's, 3:35pm---@ Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum


Gonzalez' Daddy's


Adrian Beltre--- .500 avg/ 1 HR (10 AB)


Buchholz' Minor Athletic Pains In Ass... But No Worries


*** Buch is Daddyless when it comes to Dad's in Oak Town. Let's keep it that way.

Daddy TCFB's Words of Wisdom: Sox look to take 2 out of 3 from the A's in a matinee matchup this afternoon as Clay "Deal or no Deal" Buchholz toes the rubber in his return from the DL. Other than that, I have no wisdom to spew today.

Chuck
~TCFB~
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Major League,Lou Brown


Whether it was a quote...

[Willie Mays Hayes has just made a 'basket catch' to end the inning]
Lou Brown: Nice catch, Hayes. Don't ever fuckin' do it again.

Lou Brown: [Lou's talk to the team before the opening day game] All right people, we got 10 minutes 'till game time, let's all gather 'round. I'm not much for giving inspirational addresses, but I'd just like to point out that every newspaper in the country has picked us to finish last. The local press seems to think that we'd save everyone the time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves. Me, I'm for wasting sportswriters' time. So I figured we ought to hang around for a while and see if we can give 'em all a nice big shitburger to eat!

Lou Brown: Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this "olé" bullshit!

Or an action...

Roger Dorn: See, I've got it right here in my contract. It says, "I don't have to do any calisthenics that I don't feel are necessary." So what do you think about that?
Lou Brown: [drops the contract on the ground and urinates on it, then walks off]

RIP to the best baseball manager in movie history, Lou Brown, aka James Gammon. Gammon passed away a few days ago in California. He was 70.

Major League still goes down as my all-time favorite baseball flick; followed by Bull Durham & Field of Dreams. Gammon pegged that role. Perfect casting.

Carry on, people.

Chuck
~TCFB~
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Patriots Cheerleaders,Paw Wash
Photo courtesy of Suzanne Kreiter/Boston.com


“Oh my god, my mommy never gets me in that spot… or looks as good doing it. Damn baby you sure know how to get a doggy wound up!!! My doggy eyes are popping out of my doggy eye sockets in pure ecstasy!”--- Sugi the Husky Lab mix

(Check out the rest on Boston.com)

Chuck
~TCFB~
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