Chris CrockettAsshat Of The Week---Eddie & Jenny Burbo
November 29th 2009 13:45
(AP) ALLEN PARK, Mich. - Waiting in line for deals on Black Fridays brought a Michigan couple close enough to wed. Edward Burbo and Jennifer Dykstra tied the knot Thanksgiving night at the Best Buy in Allen Park, Mich.
They said "I do" hours before the store was to open for Black Friday shopping deals.
They first met during a Black Friday campout six years ago.The two said they hope their marriage will be a symbol of hope and love for their four children. "Black Friday is something that we've done together as a couple for a few years. And we couldn't afford a big wedding and we thought that we should just try to do something that we would remember," Burbo said.
Holy shit! A total supreme asshat convention if I ever did see one. Are you kidding me? Think about it, if there were any more asshats witnessing this pathetic wedding on Black Friday, the town selectmen would've had to rename Allen Park, Michigan 'Asshatville' for good measure. They'd be no other option. First off, I hate Black Friday... but WTF is it with these goons on Black Friday and Best Buy? I was coming home from Thanksgiving dessert in Norwood the other night and I drove by the Best Buy in Dedham and noticed a pack of these types of 'challenged folk' in tents on the side of Best Buy at 10:30pm. That in itself is plain awful to me, but, ok I'll deal with that. I'm numb to this shit, since I've seen it for so long now. Eddie and Jenny here take the cake though. Four kids at home and they take their dumb asses down to Best Buy and camp out like they always do, but this time they bring a half assed wedding dress and tux with them and tie the knot. Good work. Were the kids at Granny's house asking where Mommy and Daddy were as they chowed on leftover pudding pie? 'Oh kiddos, Mommy and Daddy are getting married outside of Best Buy, then they're gonna hit up the tent for a little wedding night sex while the other losers in line all sit and listen and cheer loudly and help rock the tent, then they're gonna go inside and buy your Christmas gifts for you...glowing in ecstasy (hopefully Daddy remembered to pull up his fly). Mom and Dad said they hope this is a symbol of hope and love to you guys.' No, it's a symbol of 'Asshatism'. Welcome to the club, Eddie and Jenny, you are the first couple to be anointed. Kudos.
Chuck
~TCFB~
| 44 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
Comment by 5280
I agree. I don't want to hear any of this "Oh we do it every year. It is mainly to get together with our friends and we have such fun."
Yeah, well you can certainly find a place to lay out with your amigos where you aren't sitting in bum urine and gum. It is called the woods, freaks. Or a park if you are afraid of bears.
Let's not load this all on to Best Buy campers either. At least they come home with something. There are also concerts and Twilight movies and let's not forget about sports. I can't imagine how awkward it must be at these little gatherings. It must be like dudes standing around, awaiting their turn at the Houston 500 (allegedly).
"Hey you remember when Bono sang With or Without You? Yeah that was so awesome."