Chuck HAsshat Of The Week---Larry Whitfield
November 22nd 2009 15:38
(AP)CHARLOTTE, N.C. - A man will spend the rest of his life in prison after he was found guilty in what prosecutors said was a case of scaring a 79-year-old North Carolina grandmother to death.
Prosecutors say Whitfield was looking for somewhere to hide after a failed bank robbery attempt in Gastonia in September 2008 when he broke into Parnell's home.
Authorities say Whitfield never touched the grandmother, but she suffered a heart attack when she saw him, and he didn't call for help.
Ok, so let me get this straight Larry.. You botched up the bank robbery...Got nothing..... And then you broke into an old ladies house and killed her without touching her? Do you know what this means Larry? Do you? It means you got an 'Asshat slap' from God, telling you to cut the shit, you are an amateur criminal who has no idea what he's doing so he lead you to an old ladies house so you could eventually win the TCFB Asshat award because you killed her without touching her. You dumb sonofabitch! You and your dummy 'partner in crime' were so stupid that upon getting out of your car when you got to the bank parking lot, you grabbed your semi-automatic weapons and started slowly walking toward the bank in plain sight, while taking your time ( I might've only stole a pack of Now & Later candies once as a kid from the penny candy store, but even I know you don't approach a bank your about to rob in the manner you did). So what do the people working in the bank do when they SEE YOU COMING? They lock the doors. What do you do after they lock the doors and your standing in the street looking like the Terminator with you semi-auto's? You run back to you car... then you proceed to crash your car into something! God saw all this going down and said, 'no way I'm letting this moron get away with this.. if you're gonna rob a bank son, do it right!' So he leads you to grannies house. Turns out granny was on her way out anyway, but God decided to make you her official 'cause of death' as you gave her a heart attack. Great work Larry. Welcome to TCFB Asshat fame!
Chuck
~TCFB~
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Comment by 5280
If she would have just covered herself in wet mud and made a bow and arrow with explosive tips, she could have won.