Your Average JoeAsshat Of The Week---Pastor Joe Coquitt From Tennessee
January 31st 2010 15:52
(AP)ALCOA, Tenn. - The son of a well-known Alcoa pastor has taken out an order of protection against his father, claiming he was threatened with a gun during an argument at a church over his lack of church attendance. The order of protection was filed by 32-year-old Michael Louis Colquitt against 60-year-old Joe Colquitt, pastor of St. John Missionary Baptist Church.
The younger man told police his father pulled out a handgun when they met at the church to discuss church attendance. He told officers his father pointed the gun at him and threatened to kill him, his wife and family.
What is the world coming to, my good friends and children of God? Please explain.....
Pastor: So son, I got your voicemail about your suggestion on increasing our weekly attendance at the church. Not only do I have the Cardinal up my ass about getting more people to see the way of the Lord and get more of them showing up at St. John's every week, but then when I ask for suggestions, you give me this bullshit? (sorry Lord).. "Put an arcade in the basement church." Are you serious son?
Son: Dad, it was just an idea. You know how parents and kids are today. Need to keep them entertained at all times so they don't bitch and moan that they're bored. I just figured while the kids were down there playing, the parents would help out our little attendance problem.
Pastor: That is the stupidest goddamn (sorry Lord) suggestion I've ever heard come out of your moronic mouth. I'm tired of you and your half ass effort around here! Get on the EFFIN floor! [Daddy Pastor unleashes his Smith & Wesson] I'm tired of your stupid suggestions. Get your goddamn (sorry Lord) shit (sorry Lord) together or I swear I will execute you and your dumb ass little family(sorry Lord) right in the house of the Lord! Now get the hell out of here!
Chuck
~TCFB~
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Comment by 5280
Two theistic proverbs from the southern sects...
Spare the rod and spoil the child.
Guns don't kill people. People kill people.