Chris CrockettSlow Down Your Gallop Martha Maxine...What The Hell Is That?
September 25th 2009 13:22
Imagine if our favorite talking horse of yesteryear, Mr. Ed, was really known as Mrs. Ed and had a normal horsie vagina between her legs but to go along with that was a three foot ‘rocket launcher’ of a penis with which all male horses are equipped.. Meet Martha Maxine, the five year old male horse who pulled a reverse ‘Ru Paul’ on us. You see, Martha used to be..… well.…. Martha….. a female horsie.
Just when you thought you had heard it all with the likes of track and field star, Caster Semenya and the likes of old-timer and former German Olympian of high end gender deception, Dora Ratjen, we have now entered the world of he/she horsie guessing games. Check out this blurb from the New York Times on Martha before his race outside of Chicago last Saturday..
Martha Maxine will be among the favorites Saturday in the $125,000 Tony Maurello Stakes at Balmoral Park outside Chicago, the same harness racing track where he won the filly division of the same race a year ago. He will make his fourth start since tests determined the horse was intersex, with male sex chromosomes
You see, Martha won a bakers dozen of races last year while competing as a female and actually won the filly race at Balmoral park when competing as a female last year. Martha’s trainer said all that he really ever noticed was that she was a very muscular horse for a female. Steroid use on the horse was fiercely denied by all and the truth finally came out that Martha actually had normal female genitalia but was also blessed with a testicular package (shall we say) to go along with it. I exaggerated the whole three foot rocket launcher part of the story but I just thought it was more humorous and along the same subject line, so I went with it….Close enough! Martha really only had a pair of testicles to go along with her vagina. Trust me, the way this world is going, the whole rocket launcher coupled with a vagina story might be coming next, don’t laugh!
Is that you Brigitte??
This all got me thinking back to Rocky IV. Yes, I know, a little off track but bear with me here. Do you remember Ivan Drago, the chiseled Russian brought onto the scene by the Russian government to kick the crap out of Rocky and who ended up killing Apollo while he was at it? Do you remember his wife in the movie who was played by Stallone’s real life ex-wife, the very large female, Brigitte Nielsen? My mind is so screwed up lately from all of this gender confusion and swapping the hot dog and beans for some coochie or vice-versa going on, I’m not fully convinced that good ole Brigitte wasn’t also blessed with her own little extra hidden package of testicles and played both parts in that movie with the aid of some of Stallone’s high end steroid collection and some barbells.. Think of it, tall, short blonde hair, muscular, two actors for the price of one……..
Chuck
~TCFB~
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Comment by CofA
Comment by Chuck H
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Comment by 5280
Yeah that Brigitte dude is really tall. And then of course Eddie Murphy hit on him in Beverly Hills cop II. Well we all know about Eddie Murphy's thing for shims with big feet when he got stopped for giving a ride to hooker, Atisone Kenneth Seiuli or "Shalomar". I think we can all assume that Eddie shared his Mallomar with Shalomar that particular evening.
The way I see it is you have junk or you don't. If you have both sets of equipment (which is so midwest, corn-belt, back road travelling carnival kinda freaky to me) then you need to have your own competitions and events. Not saying you have to come up with your own olympics but just another category. Men's Women's and Himmins or something.
"Here comes the Sudan team now, Bob and expectations are for them to dominate in the 800 meter."
"Yes, Tim and it is great to see their weengina contingent is here right beside their non-ambiguous genitalia countrymen er countrywomen er countrypersons and ready to go for the gold."
You might say that would be too exclusionary or discriminatory but the logical alternative is have men and women and those with both cruller and doughnut compete together. I can't even imagine how loud the cry of "foul" that would raise from every corner of the NOW universe would be.
Plus can you imagine the Title IX implications in college athletics if yet a third "gender" is added? Bye bye Penn State football because we had to add "take a guess" soccer team..
Fun Stuff
Comment by 5280
Comment by Chuck H
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I loved Jamie Lee back in the day.. What was the flick? True Lies? Good stuff with the Guvanah of Cali!
Comment by Josh Gans
Comment by CofA
Now that is one weird dude or dudette.........
Comment by Chuck H
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